Wellness Wisdom

Many of us have been running all our lives. Practice stopping.
—Thich Nhat Hanh

Burnout: The Struggle is Real

When the pandemic began in early 2020, many of our regular, everyday activities and interactions came to a halt or were moved online. And while I’ve worked from home for more than 20 years now, I’m still more of an “in-person” person, meaning I thrive on face-to-face encounters, so this was a tough transition for me, as I’m sure it was for many.  I missed my workout and yoga classes, my church community, and all the other things I used to do “in real life.” It didn’t take long for me to feel lost and unbalanced.  Maybe you can relate.
Call it a survival tactic or a nod to my overachieving tendencies but I quickly threw myself into a bunch of different projects to pass the time at home (none of which included baking bread, I might add). I joined weekly coaching groups, moderated two book clubs, scooped up an assignment for a regional magazine and started writing for CoveyClub, an online learning community for women looking to reinvent.

I also signed up for just about every online educational offering that was available, from writing to racial justice to flower arranging (which, I learned, can be quite therapeutic).  I participated in a Sacred Ground Dialogue Series and, at age 55, went back to school to earn a certificate in  Wellness Counseling from Cornell University.

Cut to the summer of 2021: My first grandchild was born, and on the one hand, I couldn’t be more joyful. On the other hand, I was feeling so overwhelmed by everything I had signed up for and committed to, that I was barely enjoying any of it. So after spinning my wheels a bit, I Zoomed with coach Wendy Perrotti, co-founder of Camp Reinvention. When I told Wendy (read: cried to Wendy) that I couldn’t keep up this frenetic pace and had no desire to return to “Pandemic Christine,” she looked at me with kind eyes and said simply, “Then don’t.”

After our session, I looked up the definition of burnout, and found that it could be described as “exhaustion of physical or emotional strength or motivation usually as a result of prolonged stress or frustration.” (All that was missing was my picture next to the definition.)

After my chat with Wendy, I dropped down to one book club, eased up on the online classes (you’ll rarely find me on Zoom now) and signed up for a music class for babies and caregivers that had my granddaughter and me moving and shaking for several weeks that fall.

If you find yourself experiencing symptoms of burnout, here are 3 quick tips to get you through:

1)     Go easy on yourself. It’s okay to cry (even during a Zoom session).

2)     Set boundaries. Every time you say yes to something—or to someone
else—you’re saying no to yourself.

3)     Find something that brings you joy and go there.

And if you still find that it’s all too much, ask for help. If you think you might benefit from a session or two with a coach, take a look at my article in Lehigh Valley Style magazine titled Do You Need a Life Coach? where I explain the difference between therapy and coaching, the types of coaches, and how to find a reputable one. And if you think what you’re experiencing warrants a consult with a therapist, check out Psychology Today’s “Find a Therapist” page: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists.

My Latest Obsession!

Years ago, I had a blog called “My Latest Obsession,” in which I talked about the latest thing that I couldn’t get enough of, whether that was a new food find, a
TV show, a book, a beauty product, or whatever was striking my fancy at that moment. Over the years, my work led me down different paths (and I ceased writing that blog) but I would still look for ways to share my latest finds with people, working them into conversations or posting about them on social, so
I thought I’d bring back “My Latest Obsession” and share those finds with you here. I’ve got two for you this issue:

“And Just Like That…The Writers Room Podcast”

Calling all "Sex and the City” fans! Did you know that there’s a companion podcast to the rebooted iconic series streaming each week on Max? On each episode of “And Just Like That…The Writers Room Podcast,” executive producer, writer, and director, Michael Patrick King, is joined by the other magnificent writers of the show, offering behind-the-scenes nuggets including stories from their own lives which have often inspired plotlines and scenes for the show. New characters round out the cast this season, and storylines include widowhood, gender identity, and the complications of life, love, and friendship that greet women at midlife. What a treat to watch the show and then listen to what went into creating each episode. (Find it wherever you get your podcasts.)

Philly Fluff Cake!!

My daughter’s boyfriend brought a Philly Fluff Cake on vacation with us this past summer and it became my go-to indulgent snack for the week (I even froze some to take home!). I’m already thinking about how dreamy it’s going to be to enjoy when I start my afternoon tea ritual once the weather turns cooler. Resembling a Bundt-shaped pound cake, it’s made with Philadelphia® Cream Cheese and is as fluffy-tasting as its name suggests, with a lovely dusting of powdered sugar on top. All you Jersey girls out there can find it at Natale's Bakery in Summit. For those of us outside of the Garden State, luckily, they ship!

Tell Me More: A Sabbatical to Remember

For this issue, I talked with Dennis Morton, founder and principal of Morton Brown Family Wealth (MBFW). This past summer, Dennis took a five-week sabbatical from his position at MBFW and traveled through the villages and mountains of Europe for a month with his wife, Gina, and their four children, who are between the ages of seven and 17. Here’s what Dennis had to say about the importance of family travel,  trekking across the Alps with a herd of stuffed animals, and more.

Christine Krahling: Many people wait until much later in life to take a trip like this—perhaps when they’re retired or when their kids are older. So why this trip, and why now?

Dennis Morton: The trip was both a family plan and a business plan. A few years ago, my partner, Katie Brown, and I, started working on a 10-year goal for growing Morton Brown Family Wealth. We talked about the number of clients we hoped to serve, how to build our team, and how big we wanted to grow  in the next decade. However, those goals felt a bit hollow. We both have kids at home and in 10 years we knew we would be in a different season of life. We made the decision to put a program in place, where after five years of service at the firm, each employee is eligible for a five-weeks-long, paid sabbatical. Our goal was to encourage our team to step away from work and have meaningful experiences and make lasting memories with the people they love. The idea energized us when thinking about long-term goals because we are committed to enjoying the journey along the way.

CK: I heard there were some special guests hiding out in children’s backpacks…how did that happen?
DM: Yes, we found some stowaways! Each of our four kids had one big backpack and a smaller carry-on. We were going to be walking all around Europe so they had to pack what they could carry. It wasn’t until we arrived at the airport that I discovered my youngest two daughters had packed nothing but stuffed animals in their carry-ons! Not only that, but one daughter had begged me to carry her bag of shoes in my backpack because she did not have room. Now I understand why.

CK: You mentioned on your podcast that you deleted all social media while you were traveling. Was it tough to stay off it for a month, or a real no-brainer?
DM: Staying away from social media itself wasn’t too difficult. But just having a phone handy remained a distraction. However, I don’t know where we would be (literally) were it not for [various apps] guiding us through cities and mountain trails alike. This meant always having a phone on us. When we weren’t on the go, I tried to hide it and either read or sketch to limit my screen time. I think the greatest release was not feeling the need to respond to e-mail. The [MBFW] team did a great job of removing the need to react to every new message.

CK: What would be your top three travel tips for anyone traveling to Europe for the first time?
DM:  1. Don’t be afraid to go off the beaten path. Visiting smaller cities like Assisi in Italy and Garmisch-Partenkirchen in Bavaria were much more walkable and relaxing for us than big cities like Rome.

2. Not every day needs an itinerary. I would be a terrible cruise director because I like to leave space to breathe when I travel. I enjoyed a day like we had in Merano, Italy where we hiked down mountain trails to the town for a trip to the grocery store. The kids played in the river, we filled our backpacks with food, and then hiked our way back up. We found many joyful moments in the spontaneity of that.

3. If you can, cook a few meals at home. In the market in Ljubljana, Slovenia, we found our way down a marble spiral staircase to the riverside fish vendors who had everything from octopus and prawns to sea bass from the Adriatic Sea. We all savored the smell of a home-cooked meal in our rental property, and we devoured our fresh catch with rice and vegetables.

CK: If there were one thing you’d want business owners to know about the importance of taking a sabbatical, what would that be?

DM: In the beginning, as entrepreneurs we must think long term. “Someday” is an important word in our vocabulary because it’s not going to happen immediately. However, there is the risk that “someday” becomes the answer to too many opportunities along the journey. If possible, I would challenge business owners to think of an experience that they have put off or suspended until that day in the future when they have time and resources. Think of how you could do all or part of it now. Empower your team to fill in the gaps and bring the people you love in on the adventure. Your future self will thank you.

When Dennis is not channeling his inner Clark Griswold, you can find him podcasting with his business partner, Kathryn Brown  here, https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/simply-why/id1694023883  or at Morton Brown Family Wealth at https://www.mortonbrownfw.com/

New for Me, Shared with You: Good Pelvic Health Means More than Just Kegels

Here’s a fun fact: Women in France receive free postpartum pelvic floor sessions after the birth of their babies. Yup, you read that right: FREE. PELVIC. FLOOR.THERAPY. And not just a handful of sessions but 10-20 after each birth!  Mind. Blown.

How did I learn this you ask? From one of my favorite podcasts: Age Out Loud with Katie Fogarty, specifically, Episode 127 titled, “Beyond Kegels: Easy Ideas for Optimal Pelvic Floor and GI Health (Think Bladder Control + Less Constipation) from Physical Therapist Dr. Anne Duch.” 

Pelvic floor dysfunction can show up in myriad ways and can be impacted by several factors, including aging, loss of estrogen, and, according to Katie, by our “largely sedentary life” (just another thing to blame on the pandemic!). This episode inspired me to attend a local workshop on pelvic floor health, and it’s something I’m going to be more mindful of—and prioritize— going forward.

Listen here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-certain-age/id1528863878?i=1000603876008

On the Nightstand: Book Recommendations

Fifth Avenue Glamour Girl by Renee Rosen (Penguin Random House)
Remember Estée Lauder’s “Youth-Dew” fragrance? I have memories of that gorgeous bottle adorned with a gold ribbon on my grandmother’s nightstand; perhaps you do, also. The perfume—introduced in 1953—is described by the company as “absolutely captivating,” and the same can be said about this book, which reimagines the story of Estée Lauder, the iconic American entrepreneur who shaped the beauty business selling face cream. In this tale we meet Gloria Downing, who is not only looking for a friend but a way to reinvent herself after a family scandal…and then young Estée walks into her life. While Gloria aims to find her voice, Estée plans to become a household name. Together, these two determined women discover what it’s like to dare to dream and refuse to settle during the 1930s, a time when women were just beginning to find creative ways to showcase their talents.

Friends, Lovers, and The Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry (Flatiron Books) Let’s call this “The One with the Vulnerability.”  Known to many as “Chandler Bing” in the hit series, “Friends,” Perry tells all in what People magazine calls a “heartbreakingly beautiful memoir.” Perry (who apparently was the last actor to be cast before the hit series premiered back in ’94) covers his highs, his lows, and everything in between. He gives readers a behind-the-scenes look at his time on “Friends” and takes them along on his harrowing journey with addiction—including detoxing more than 65 times and coming close to death from Vicodin abuse—and how it affected his work, his life, and his health. While the road Perry traveled is no picnic, readers will see that his story is an unforgettable one about persistence, peace, and hope. When I finished this book, I thought that if I ever met Perry in person, I would give him a big hug and tell him, “You are enough.”

Go As A River by Shelley Read (Spiegel & Grau). If you liked I Know Where The Crawdads Sing, you’ll love this debut novel from Read, which Bonnie Garmus (Lessons In Chemistry) calls “unforgettable.” Inspired by the events surrounding the destruction of the small ranch town of Iola, Colorado in the 1960s, Go As a River introduces us to 17-year-old Victoria (“Torie”) Nash, who runs the household on her family’s peach farm, and whose life is forever changed by a chance encounter with a drifter she meets on a street corner. Read, a fifth-generation Coloradan, was a senior lecturer at Western Colorado University, as well as a founder of the Interdisciplinary Environment & Sustainability major. When asked where her idea for an extraordinary character such as Victoria came from, Nash said in a press release, “Victoria embodies many qualities of the women I’ve known in my own family and in my local ranching and mountain community—tough, loyal, kind, humble women who work hard and do what needs to be done.” Readers will no doubt root for Torie on her emotional journey.

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