Wellness Wisdom

“Connection is why we’re here. It is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.”
—Brene Brown

The Power of Connection

I attended a wedding last fall that included some childhood classmates, and a friend-of-a-friend greeted me with such affection that my husband thought she was one of my old pals. “Nah,” I told him. “We just met at the bridal shower a couple months ago.” “Well, you must have made quite an impression on her,” he said. “I thought she was someone you had gone to school with.”

And while I’d love to say that my “magnetic Gemini personality” could take full credit for the warm greeting I received, I think it was more likely due to the fact that, after establishing how we both knew the bride (we’re both longtime friends of her mom from different life stages), we took the time to get to know each other over a couple of hours, and traded stories about where we’re from, caring for our aging parents, and the joys of midlife. (Oh, and there may have been some fun jabs at our husbands sprinkled in there, too—sorry, guys!) 

In the article, “The Power of Social Connection for Longevity” that appeared on healthnews.com, Chelsea Hetherington, Ph.D wrote, “Social connections are an essential aspect of human life, and research has revealed a strong link between social connection and longevity. However, the impact goes beyond physical health, as social connection also significantly influences our psychological well-being.” Dr. Hetherington also noted, “Research has consistently shown that maintaining strong social ties and a sense of belonging can lead to a longer lifespan.”

With such a great incentive, why does it sometimes seem so hard to connect with people and maintain relationships that are so essential to our well-being? I’ve given this some thought, and here’s what I came up with:

First, let’s take a quick look at the “crazy-busy” mentality that may give us a false sense of connection. When I run into someone and ask how they’re doing/how things are going, and they respond with an exclamatory, “crazy-busy!” I’m not quite sure what the appropriate response is to that. Sometimes I want to offer sympathy but feel I might be met with a confused look, to say the least. I totally get that life is filled with kids, jobs, appointments, aging parents, and all kinds of life admin-type tasks that need to be checked off the list. (I mean, please, my lists have lists.)  And while we may get a temporary mood boost after running into a friend at the grocery store (and commiserating over why we haven’t seen each other in six months) these quick encounters don’t offer much for our long-term wellbeing.      

Next, let’s acknowledge that everything feels harder in the winter. We’ve got shorter days, less sunlight, and a ton of shows to stream from the comfort of our own couches. (Does anyone even go to the movies anymore??) And staying snuggled indoors on these cold, gray days does have its advantages, especially for those of us who work from home. However, I ask you to consider this quote by the author Alfred Wainright who said, “There’s no such thing as cold weather, only unsuitable clothing.” Translation: Put on your big girl (snow) pants and get out of the house!

And last but not least, let’s address the fact that our social lives were much easier to navigate pre-pandemic. According to the National Library of Health, the COVID-19 pandemic has led to “acute changes in daily routines and lifestyles worldwide, with the social consequences being detrimental to mental health.” We were abruptly cut off from all the social activities and mood-boosters we were accustomed to and hunkered down with our “pods” for the better part of two years, so some habits are definitely hard to break. And while the pandemic may have given the athleisure industry a real boost, it  threw us a curveball socially, and some of us are having a tough time getting back into the swing of things.

Here are some tips for getting out of your comfort zone and connecting with people in the coming weeks; I’d love to hear how you do!

WELCOME A NEWCOMER 
Is there someone new in your weekly yoga class or at your worship service? If so, take a few minutes and say hi, and see where the conversation goes. I was thrilled when one of the women at barre class introduced herself to me last month. (Maybe because for once I wasn’t standing around mindlessly scrolling through my phone waiting for class to start?) We chatted a bit about being Jersey transplants to this area and how we liked that our kids live close by. And while we may not end up being besties—or even going to lunch anytime soon—it will be nice to see a familiar face in my workout class next week.

THE WRITTEN WORD
Send an old-fashioned note to someone you’d like to catch up with but don’t see often (or at all) during the year. Some of the greatest gifts I received this past Christmas were the handwritten notes inside the cards. Yes, the typical photo cards showing off your adorable grandchildren (guilty as charged!) are lovely but think how nice it might be for someone (especially the elderly) in your life to find a few lines written inside or on the back of the card, checking in to let them know you’ve been thinking about them throughout the year. 

THINK LIKE A GANGSTER
Well, not literally but consider this quote from Prohibition-era crime boss Al Capone as it relates to social connections: “I’d rather have four quarters than one hundred pennies.” Think about it: Wouldn’t you rather have four (close) friends you can count on than a bunch of acquaintances? If you research how long it takes to cultivate a friendship, you’ll find varying responses, from 80 hours to five years (yikes!). Suffice it to say, it does take time. So think about who you want in your inner circle, and start cultivating those relationships a little at a time. If distance is a factor, an old-fashioned phone call or a semi-regular FaceTime sesh can often do the trick.

Wellness Wisdom Sources:

https://healthnews.com/longevity/healthspan/social-connection-and-longevity/#:~:text=People%20with%20strong%20social%20support,chronic%20diseases%20and%20accelerated%20aging.

https://healthnews.com/author/chelsea-hetherington/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9915904/

My Latest Obsessions!

Quartz in the Clouds Lip Balm

If you’re like me, you struggle with chapped lips in the wintertime. I’ve tried a ton of different lip balms over the years but finally found one that keeps my lips hydrated without having to reapply it a thousand times a day. It’s from Quartz in the Clouds, a small-batch apothecary based in the Lehigh Valley area of Pennsylvania. Quartz is run by a lovely woman named Courtney, who calls herself “an herbalist, gardener, earth-tender, candle-maker and daydreamer” (love that last one!).

Formulated with natural, organic ingredients that include house-infused, cold pressed grapeseed oil with calendula, marshmallow root, chamomile, and lemon balm, this nourishing lip balm also contains beeswax, coconut oil, vitamin E oil and a touch of peppermint. I use it as part of my morning and nighttime skincare routine and keep one in my purse and travel bag as well.

Order it here:

https://quartzintheclouds.com/products/nourishing-calm-lip-balm

Stroopies!

I love an afternoon tea ritual in the winter and a sweet treat to tack on to it. I discovered The Lancaster Stroopie Company several years ago when visiting Christkindlmarkt http://www.christmascity.org/christkindlmarkt/ in Bethlehem, Pa and have fallen in love with their chocolate-dipped “Stroopies” or “stroopwafels” as they are also known.

Here’s how to enjoy this decadent treat:

·  Prepare a cup of tea (I imagine this would work well with coffee, too).

·  Place a Stroopie on top of your steaming mug.

·  Watch as the chocolate melts for a couple of minutes (you don’t want the cookie to be completely melted).

·  Remove the cookie, place it on a plate, sip your beverage and enjoy the delicious chocolate that’s left on the rim of your mug.

Worth noting: The Lancaster Stroopie Company gives meaningful, safe, and flexible employment to resettled refugee women in Lancaster, Pennsylvania by employing women from many different nations and skill levels. These women receive paid English classes each day, as well as free field trips to experience American culture and society.

Order Stroopies here. Gluten-free friends: They have those, too! https://www.stroopies.com/

Tell Me More: A Conversation about Yoga Therapy with Larissa R. Noto

This season I’m catching up with Larissa R. Noto, JD, C-IAYT, E-RYT, RCYT, RPYT, a trauma-informed yoga teacher and yoga therapist (see her amazingly full bio after this interview below). I met Larissa at a local yoga studio a few years ago, have taken many of her soul-soothing classes, and have called upon her for advice about grief and trauma and how they’re related. I’m proud to say that we’re continuing the yoga tradition in my family with my granddaughter being one of Larissa’s littlest yogis!

Christine Krahling: So let’s dive right in—what is yoga therapy and how is it different from a traditional yoga practice?

Larissa Noto: Yoga teachers—who undergo 200, 300, or 500 hours of training—can teach students in a class setting, as well as in a private session using yoga techniques. Yoga Therapy uses a holistic model of evaluation, individualized assessment and planning to meet specific healthcare needs (with therapists undergoing an additional 800-1000 hours of training) and [therapists] often work in conjunction with healthcare professionals using techniques and tools based in Ayurveda, the sister science of yoga. In a yoga therapy session, you can expect the development of an individualized plan, the evaluation of student’s current physical, mental, and emotional states (and more), and the creation of specific goals intended to increase overall health and well-being.

CK: How did you find yourself on the path to becoming a yoga therapist and why is this work important to you? 

LN: I had been working in the trauma-informed field since I started my career and didn't even realize it. I link my background in education and law with movement and mindfulness and find that this unique combination helps me serve various populations in a trauma-informed way.. Early in my career I invited individuals to take mindful breaks using breathwork techniques, guided meditations, and other modalities to handle trauma, grief, stress and more while awaiting next steps in their trial process. Over time, I merged my love for movement and reaching all bodies/beings, with education and then just let it naturally unfold. 

This work is important to me because I see the impact that [it] has on people's overall health and well-being. When I hear students tell me they have felt so much better during and after taking classes, then I know that this practice is reaching them in a positive way. Because these movements are accessible, they're able to reach everyone: literally, everyone can do yoga; it is just a matter of finding the right practice to fit your needs.

 
CK: What types of populations do you work with and what are some of the conditions that yoga therapy helps treat? 

LN: I teach all ages and abilities, from babies to adults. No matter who I am working with, I include inclusive, accessible, trauma-informed tools to reach and teach vast populations of students across the nation in schools, colleges and universities, yoga studios, libraries, hospitals, community, and recovery centers. From a yoga therapy perspective, I have worked with more specialized populations including those who experience arthritis, osteopenia and/or osteoporosis, cancer, heart conditions, anxiety, depression, trauma, and other chronic conditions (multiple sclerosis, TBI's and more). Each student receives specialized instructions that help to alleviate, soothe or serve as an adjunct to other healthcare methods. 

CK: I've read about treating trauma, and many of the resources I've found seem to speak to those who have experienced childhood trauma. But what about trauma someone may have experienced as an adult? Can yoga therapy help? And if so, how?

LN: The majority of us have experienced some form of potentially traumatic experiences [during] various ages and stages of our life. Many folks will be able to work through this trauma with no lasting long-term symptoms. However, some will not be able to work through this trauma without the help of a counselor, healthcare provider or licensed clinician. Yoga and specifically yoga therapy can be a very helpful adjunct to traditional talk therapy. The reason is that much of the trauma that we have experienced may be stored deeply in the tissues of our body. When we hold this deeply within, this can result in added tension, stress and anxiety or even depression, dissociation, re-experiencing, and other potential side effects. When we work with our bodies in a way that invites accessible and trauma-informed movements, we are able to work through this trauma from a bottom-up experience in addition to a top-down experience. This is how yoga, and in particular, yoga therapy can help work with trauma. 

CK: How can people get in touch with you and learn about the classes you offer?

LN: I teach public classes both online and in person. I also offer individualized consultations for a small fee to see how yoga therapy could work for you.  If you are interested in my teaching schedule or a consultation, you can reach out to me online via IG @thelovelylittlelotus, FB -Larissa Noto or via email at thelovelylittlelotus@gmail.com. You can also reach out to me via my website www.thelovelylittlelotus.com.

 
Larissa R. Noto is a Yoga Therapist (C-IAYT), Registered Adult Yoga Teacher (ERYT-500), Children's Yoga Teacher (RCYT),  and Prenatal/Postnatal Yoga Teacher (RPYT).  Larissa is currently a teacher, trainer and content contributor with Childlight Education Company (NH), Mindful Child Initiative (PA), Prema Yoga Institute (NY) and The Yoga Loft of Bethlehem (PA). She is also the Director of Teacher Training and Family Programming at the Yoga Loft of Bethlehem. Her work has been featured in NPR, MSN, PBS News, WLVT Channel 39, PBS Kids, Lehigh Valley Style, Yoga Journal/Outside + and Yoga Love magazine. She has been a featured speaker at various national conferences from Trauma Sensitive Schools, EDHI, ASHA, COSEM and more. When she isn't sharing her love of trauma-informed work with all, she is a wife, mom of three, professor, author, and speaker who, in her spare time, can be found hiking with her kids, reading a good book or traveling somewhere super-fun!

New for Me, Shared with You: Who knew that the medical terminology around women’s body parts could be so shaming??

I learned this when listening to Flamingo’s podcast, “Unruly,” hosted by writer and art influencer Kimberly Drew. (For those not familiar, Flamingo is a body- and haircare brand that “designs products for the parts of our routines that don’t get a lot of primetime attention.”)

In “Body Language” (Season 1, Episode 3) Drew talks to “Vagina Obscura” author Rachel E. Gross about “the long shadow of the patriarchy” over the medical profession, and the ways in which language impacts the treatment we receive as patients. Drew says, “We were not taught how to accurately talk about our bodies. And this actually has long term effects. The language we use matters.”

Listen here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/body-language/id1714329287?i=1000635640315 or wherever you get your podcasts.

On the Nightstand: Book Recommendations

The Emotionally Exhausted Woman: Why You’re Feeling Depleted & How To Get What You Need by Nancy Colier

I met Nancy at a CoveyClub  https://www.coveyclub.com/ networking event in New York City last fall where she spoke about developing skills to help women advocate for themselves and meet their needs without guilt. (Can I get an “Amen!”) Never one to turn down a self-help book, I took home a copy of Nancy’s book that day to find that she basically turns traditional self-help advice on its head, writing that while “we go searching for the key to the castle…we don’t stop to consider that maybe the key is in our own pocket.” BOOYAH! From thinking that we’re high maintenance when we order things When-Harry-Met-Sally-style (dressing on the side, please) or that we spend too much time on our appearance (It’s me, hi), or any of the myriad ways that we think we might be “too much” for others,  this book is for the woman who knows that “her experience matters and that she matters…a woman who is unshakably on her own side.” Preach. Find out more about Nancy and buy her book here: https://nancycolier.com/books/

Nothing Much Happens: Cozy & Calming Stories to Soothe Your Mind & Help You Sleep by Kathryn Nicolai

I’m always open to new, soothing nighttime rituals and this beautiful book caught my eye while I was browsing through Pelican Book Store in Sunset Beach, North Carolina.* The first line of Nicolai’s introduction reads, “Sleeping should be easy.” Wouldn’t that be lovely? Between replaying the day’s activities in our minds, doom-scrolling, and dealing with the “Sunday Scaries,” it’s a wonder we get any sleep at all some nights.

Nicolai—host of the podcast of the same name— takes an old-school approach to falling asleep,  drawing upon the value of bedtime stories because “stories help us make sense of things; they can point us in a useful direction and give us a way to step out of the present and into a new place and time. And when they’re told in a certain way, they can help us calm down.”

The stories in Nothing Much Happens are laid out chronologically across the seasons, so you can choose a story that takes place in the current season, or you can jump around, as the book doesn’t need to be read in any particular order. All of the stories take place in “The Village of Nothing Much,” where characters from the different stories cross paths. Nicolai encourages readers to imagine themselves in this village, and even includes a map showing the local bookstore, museum, bakery, etc.

If you decide to make Nothing Much Happens a part of your bedtime ritual, I’d love to know what you think! Wishing you sweet dreams!

Find out more about Kathryn and buy her book here: https://www.nothingmuchhappens.com/

*I love visiting independent bookstores when I travel. If you find yourself in the Brunswick County, NC area, check out https://pelicanbookstore.com/. It’s about a 30-minute ride from North Myrtle Beach.

New Program!
Mindfulness and Meditation for Caregivers

If you’re a caregiver, you’ve probably been told more than enough times that you “can’t pour from an empty cup” and that you need “to put your own oxygen mask on first.”
You also know that it’s not easy to take care of yourself while you’re caring for others but on some level, you do know that it’s essential.

In my new program, “Mindfulness and Meditation for Caregivers,” I provide an overview of mindfulness, talk about the myths surrounding meditation and how to realistically weave it into your day, and share three simple meditation techniques that you can call upon during stressful times, or anytime. A fun, mindful eating exercise is also included!

While this program is ideal for groups, it can also be presented one-on-one. Virtual options are available. For more information—or to bring this program to your group setting—email me at: Christine.Krahling@gmail.com.

 Other Ways to Work with Me:

I’m a developmental editor who also happens to be a kick-ass proofreader and copyeditor. Have you written a book and need someone to polish up your manuscript and provide feedback? Click here.

Interested in hosting an author for a moderated discussion for your organization’s next meeting or event? Click here.  How about someone to present a session on mindfulness? Click here.